Sunday, June 28, 2009

Military Girlfriend's Handbook

Military Girlfriend Handbook
1. Don't count on anything!
2. Don't listen to ANYONE on the outside. All you will get is negative remarks, which will make things harder for you to deal with.
3. When he becomes stubborn and a royal pain in the butt, just remind yourself he's probably had a bad day, and being away from you is hard on him too. So just let him rant and don’t take it personal.
4. When you’re down, treat yourself.
5. Learn how to listen if you don’t know how! He will need you, you will be the one he comes to when he needs to complain, but don’t complain back...that is what the USMC Girlfriends/Fiancées/ Wife’s are for! This is a hard time for our men and they NEED us much more than sometimes they think they do!
6. Love your Marine, be truthful, and reassure him, even if he is deployed he'll have someone to come back to!
7. He will try to pull away at some point. Whether directly telling you to move on, not wait for him or just becoming distant. It's a way they try of dealing, stick with him cause he really does want (and need) you there.
8. When he is away for a long time, or even just a couple hours away, write a lot of letters! Communication is key to a relationship.
9. Some of his friends will probably be morons - expect this.
10. You aren’t the only woman in his life (his mom misses and loves him too!) so make sure she is updated on what is going on with him.
11. He needs to feel important so don't hold back on the compliments - remind him how proud you are of what he does. (Tell him how attractive you think he is when wearing his desert cami's, dress blues ect.)
12. Chances are they won't call when they say they will (that especially applies for deployed!).
13. Don't buy that nonrefundable airplane ticket too early.
14. When eating with a Marine you either finish your "chow" in 15 minutes or less or be stared at until you are finished.
15. Never take one single minute with them for granted. Live each day with them like it’s the last one you'll have for a while, because with the Marine Corps, it just might be!
16. Take lots of pictures, so you can remember what each other looks like!
17. Don't even TRY to compare your Marine to ordinary men. You can no longer complain about broken plans, that phone call you were supposed to get but didn't, missed birthdays and anniversaries, his snoring (hey, at least he's sleeping BESIDE you), spending more time with "the boys" than you, etc., etc., etc...
18. Always look on the bright side of things. How many of your gal-pals get their first encounter, first date, first kiss from their men over and over again??
19. Gotta be able to keep up with your man. We give our Marines a whole new meaning of PT =)
20. Even if he says he will, he probably won't. Maybe really means probably not OR probably not when he said he would (example: "I might be able to call you tomorrow" but he can't find the time to call until a week later or "I might be able to come home next month for a week"...that might turn into 2 weeks)
21. Being a Marine's girlfriend/fiancée/wife is the toughest job in the corps. You have to deal with stress similar to the wives, without the promise of forever or the benefits and support they get.
22. We find ourselves using military lingo. "I'm gonna go get my room squared away", "It's chow time", or using military time
23. Patience is the biggest key to making the relationship work...you have to wait a lot but in the end, waiting is what made it all worthwhile.




I found this online, in the form of a jpeg. I thought it was cute and totally accurate. Number 22, I use military time quite often now and my friends are like, "WTF?" I find myself having to correct this more and more often.

My own additions:
And do always tell him how proud you are and remind him that there is no other guy on the planet that could even compare. Even if you feel like he knows it, tell him how glad you are that he's your boufriend, and that you would never betray his trust. Things like this can really make him feel more confident about the relationship.

24 comments:

  1. You right.....
    Some of his friends dislike me, like he said.
    Maybe some of his friends jealous of him.
    I'm quit stressing here.
    I'm asking lots of my pain worry of him.
    And I want he leave army jobs that he loves so much.
    Anywayy I'm in china.
    And long distance fiance.
    My angry negative mind will out
    Sometimes I'm angry
    He xplain.
    He has corsemate same bedroooom at his quarter. I'm happy little :)
    Hopely his corse mate understood my pain.
    I'm so happy.
    I miss him so much.
    Everything is restricted in army.
    Become military wife must á patient wwoman when he is away...... Very calm woman..
    Now I understand him.
    I never angry again.

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  2. Thanks for posting this! It really helped me out. I'm currently talking to a marine that is out on the boat as we speak. We both decided to talk about taking the next step and getting into a serious relationship after he gets back to his base because he is deploying for the first time at the end of the summer and we want to make sure that we could handle it. So far, I've been handling things very well, but I do have to say that I've been researching different sources of support. Even though I have a good amount of friends in the military, this would be my first serious relationship. I'm very proud of him & confident in what is to come.

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  3. This helped alot I'm currently talking to a marine. He is stationed at Camp Pendleton in San Diago and I live in Indiana. We haven't made anything official yet because we haven't seen each other in so long. We dated our sophomore year of high school but things just didn't work out and we went our separate ways. I'm planning on flying out for his birthday next month because he's getting a 96 :D I have found myself using military time and lingo a lot here lately my sister is always like "WTF are you talking bout?"

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  4. This helped a lot, I am currently dating a poolee who is leaving for basic in three weeks and I have no idea what either one of us are in for.

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  5. This will definitely help me for the future. I'm currently talking to a Marine. He is stationed at Camp Pendleton in San Diego. He was introduced to me by one of my best friends which is actually his best friend from high school. I haven't met him in person yet but he's coming for a few weeks to Colorado so when he visits we can talk about making it official and moving forward. I absolutely compliment him every chance I can when we FaceTime and tell him how proud I am of him. I'm even making "Open When" letters for him so he knows that no matter how many miles are between us that I will still be there. Thank you!!

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  6. My boyfriend just left for a 2 year enlistment to Japan and this really helped. I can't wait till he calls so I can tel him about it. We dated in 6-7th grade he was my first love and kiss, then I moved about 2 hours away and we broke up, we obviously both moved on and I was in a relationship for 3 years but something was always missing. Once I finally broke up with him I reached out to David and we had the most amazing connection... We've been going strong for only about 4 months now so it's very hard for people to understand why I'm so committed to him, but that's my best friend and being away from him is the hardest thing I've ever done. This is the first time I've been away from him like this so this post really helped me and will help me with ideas to keep him happy and feeling extra loved ❤️

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  7. I live in the Caribbean.my boyfriend is in the usmc. I miss him so much. I can't wait to see him. He is the sweetest sexiest bravest guy I've ever met.I want to do all I can to support him.this article is great

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  8. I live in the Caribbean.my boyfriend is in the usmc. I miss him so much. I can't wait to see him. He is the sweetest sexiest bravest guy I've ever met.I want to do all I can to support him.this article is great

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  9. I've been talking to this guy I went to school with. He's leaving for basic in 9 days, and I'm still a junior in high school. I'm a military brat, so I understand what it's like. My dad is currently in Afghanistan. This guy is something special, and I don't want to miss this opportunity. Most people think I'm in over my head and I'm too young. He told me that he wanted to give me time to think about it before he goes, and that it was gonna be hard to be with him. I guess I could use some advice on where to go from here.

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  10. I told my boyfriend that if i still had feelings fpr him after boot camp, he'd have me forever. When he returned, everything was still there. Then he left to NC for schooling, came for 9 days & is now stationed in Camp Pendelton. This is really hard because i know that he will change one way or another. Being away from him is the hardest thing ive ever had to do. We are still young. 20-21 but i believe that love conquers all. I talk to him everyday, fortunatly. My struggle is not being able to describe to him how much i miss him and how completely terrified i am for not only us as one but us alone.. yet together. I tell him how proud i am, how much i love him and how much faith i have in this but when i feel lost... not being able to tell him messes with my head. I dont know who to go to because no one understands and when i try to tell him he stays quiet and doesnt know what to say...

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  11. my best friend set me up with my current boyfriend who is in SOI in the marine corps, and she gives me no personal space and her defense is always "he is my best friend" but i am his girlfriend. how do i set boundaries without overstepping theirs?

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  12. I've been dating a man in USMC for nearly a year now. The struggle is real. But this article is 100% accurate. I feel privileged to be with someone like him, and wouldn't trade what we have for the world.
    We were close friends for 7 years before dating. So i know how to live without him being by my side every moment of every day. But as our relationship grows deeper, each goodbye is harder than the last.
    But every kiss is cherished, every moment together is cherished. He is away on field op for a week. So there is no contact during that time. We've done it before, and we will get through it this time as well!
    I am proud to be a Marine girlfriend. So proud of my handsome, strong man.
    Also proud of all marine girlfriends/fiances/wives. Sticking together as a strong support system is so important!
    Keep it up, ladies. We got this!

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  13. Thank for all your comments.Its really helping deal. I'm Canadian and Im dating a Sgt in the Marines .. I never thought I would ever date a Military Man especially one from the States.

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  14. Thanks for all your support fellow Gf's Wives and Spouses !!

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  15. I recently met a Marine 3 months ago and we have kept in touch. We talk or text almost every day. He is currently very far away so we will not be able to see each other for many more months. It is very hard because I am 100% falling in love with him and I do not know if he feels the same way. I also do not want to ruin things between us by being too "girly" and talking about feelings! lol I have a huge wall up and do not want to get hurt. We have spoken about seeing each other when he is back so fingers crossed. I think we both have problems expressing our feelings so that makes it harder. I really want this to work but have no idea about the military. This blog was fantastic to read and get more of an understanding. If anyone can give me tips or suggestion that would be fantastic. Thanks so much

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  16. Honestly, that helped alot. Thank you

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  17. Thank you this really helped. I'm dating a guy right now who's going into a marine bootcamp then going to be deployed. I feel like I'm really struggling and he hasn't even gone yet. Im already starting to write letters�� Does anyone know how this deployment thing works? I know they get to come home (although rarely). How does this work so I can prepare myself? Thank you!!!

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  18. this is very helpful! my poolee boyfriend of a little over a year is leaving for basic in 2 days and i knew what I was getting into when I started dating him but it's all becoming so real and I'm excited for him because he loves the Corps but I'm going to miss him so much. Seeing all these comments is so heart warming, thank you!

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  19. My boyfriend is two weeks shy of finishing boot camp at Camp Pendleton and articles like this are what get me through the separation. He and I have been together for about 9 months and not being able to see him every day is incredibly hard in ways I didn't expect. What makes it especially challenging is the fact that I'm moving to NYC to get my degree the week before he comes home, which adds even more time to the distance. I try to think of it as training for possible future deployments and always remind myself that while he's out there saving the world, I'm his rock at home. Even with the circumstances, I know I'm the luckiest girl in the world to be able to be here for him, and I wouldn't change a single thing. It's not every day you get to see the same respect you have for your man in the eyes of strangers who see the uniform! Semper Fi, y'all - they're coming home to us. 💌

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  20. My boyfriend just left for bootcamp today. I feel like there is nothing I can do but cry

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    1. Hi, I saw your comment and I just had to respond. My boyfriend left in August for Parris Island. I remember the first week being so hard and difficult. I would just break down and cry. When I got his address I started to write him. I write to him everyday. It gets easier as the days go by. Some days are harder than others don't get me wrong. I have a count down app that helps me keep track of how long have till we get to see each other. Seeing the days drop as each day passes helps a lot. I also write the days left on the letters I send. It's been hard but I try to keep busy with work and school. Just invest my time in something while he is away. It helps the day go by faster.

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  21. Thanks so much for posting this I'm dating a pooleee right now we have been dating for 10 months and he is leaving for basic in July earlier than what was expected. But I'm excited for him.

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  22. This is all very true I am a United states Navy Corspman, and I m dating a Marine, things will get hard, but you have to be willing to compromise, he just got in about 6 months ago, I've been in for 4 years now. He's in it for the long run, he knows with me things won't be easy I will have my bad days, and my good dys. the important thing is , is that he is in it for the long Haul and I couldn't be more grateful to have him in my life.

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